I was standing at the corner of Pantaloons, when my eyes shifted towards the sitting deck. While observing the people sitting there, I saw her for the first time. Sitting in her own lost thoughts, she was continuously staring towards the stairway. Almost every second, she looked at her phone and then towards the stairway. Looked like, she was waiting for someone. After 5-10 minutes, someone came and indicated her to go down and she went away, hesitantly.
I never knew this short exchange will eventually live up to a life long memory. Today when I write this story, I smile at those sweet memories. Life really has many things to throw at us at different occasions and turnabouts.
I visited the mall again after 5 days to meet a friend. I was a regular visitor of the mall. Not that I used to shop every time, I just liked going and observing faces. It was around 7:00 PM in evening and my friend hadn't come yet. I was sitting in once of the benches, when I saw her again for the second time. She was sitting on the bench, right in front of me. I got to saw her closely, this time. She had a small mole on her chin towards the left, that made her look more appealing. We saw each other once or twice and we turned away our faces, whenever we exchanged glances. I was liking the moment.
Again a similar event like previous day happened. A different person came this time after coordinating over the phone and she left with him. I was unable to figure out what exactly was causing the situations, till the next day when I got to talk to her.
It was a Friday evening, and I had gone to roam in the mall casually. After observing some faces for an hour or so, I sat down on the same bench, I had sat up on that day. I saw her again for the third time, this time with a different hair style sitting on the opposite deck. My heart thudded very loudly for two long minutes. I gathered up the courage to talk to her and marched towards the opposite deck.
"Hello!" - I spoke in a shakily voice.
She turned up and replied with naughty smile -"Hi! I am not available today. Please note down my number and give me a call tonight. May be we can do it tomorrow. Do you have a flat? ".
In a fraction of second, my heart beat suddenly stopped beating and everything became crystal clear. A sudden hatred engulfed me and I silently walked away.
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Two months have passed by. I have never gone to the mall, after that day. That day still haunts me as a bad memory. I don't get weak on remembering that day, but a sudden hatred surrounds me, dominating every thought.
Sometimes I feel, I shouldn't have any feeling of hatred. Sometimes, I feel nothing hut hatred. I have even tried psychological therapies, but no to profit.
Hatred has gained so much upper hand on my inside that I occasionally skip meals and also vent out my frustrations on non living things. I have also found unexpected happiness and solace in alcohol and cigarettes.
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It's Christmas eve. While the entire Kolkata is out on streets celebrating the day, I being a loner and socially awkward, have chosen to stay indoors. My room mate has gone out with his girlfriend and won't be returning today. I chose to stay indoors to watch a movie, rejecting their invitation because I don't have any intention of being the third wheel.
At around 9PM, when I proceed toward the kitchen for preparing food and open the fridge, I realize that we are out of vegetables. Although not very much in mood of going outside, I realize that staying hungry would be s stupid plan. I dress up and taking my shopping bag, I go outside.
The vegetable vendor sits right in front of the mall. While buying vegetables, I see her again around 500 meters apart. Only this time, she is walking with a baby. The baby girl, holding a balloon in her hands is jumping with joy and smiling. They march towards the vegetable stall only and my hear starts pounding fast. They cross the stall and go to the stall beside where the shopkeeper was selling candies. I move in sideways so that I can observe and listen to them.
All of a sudden, my previous hatred diminishes and a new found respect and serenity takes the place. She starts conversing with the shopkeeper - " How is the sales doing today? I rejected three customers today, because I wanted to spend time with Mimi. It's Christmas and so I didn't want to let her wishes die in vain. I an very unsure as to how the household will run?. Mimi will understand my profession one day and she will hate me for it" - Tears roll down her eyes. It seems from the conversation that the shopkeeper is her husband.
He replies - "Don't you worry and never be ashamed of your profession. You didn't select it willingly but rather were forced in to it. Our poverty has left us with no other option. You could have selected some other line of profession but that wouldn't have yearned out so much money in so less time. We would have been thrown out of our home as we weren't able to pay the rent. We will soon come out of it and I will always love you". He smiles tearfully with a look of assertiveness on his face.
Tears also roll down my eyes out of respect and also after my realization that it was extremely wrong for me to judge her without knowing of the bigger picture. The little girl looks at me with a smile. She smiles in spite of her mouth stuffed with a candy.
I pay for my vegetables and order a candy for her, paying a sum of INR 1000 for it. While the shopkeeper tries to tell me that he doesn't have change, I smile at him and look towards his wife, saying - "This might not be much, but this will help. Thank you for the valuable lesson".
And I walk away from them. While in hindsight, I notice both of them looking towards each other with strange expressions. But I am happy that I got a valuable life lesson today and this Christmas is probably one of the best I ever have had.................
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